Educational Resources & Tech Tools 04/06/2019

• Should We Speak to Little Boys as We Do Little Dogs? - The New York Times

  • During the school day the boys soldier through. They use “inside voices,” hold back tears that they’ve learned they would be shamed for, keep their bottoms in the chair and their hands to themselves. After school they are ferried to highly structured adult-led extras: enrichment, remediation and sports practices.

    Finally at home after the long day, there’s homework to do.

    At this point many boys have used up their cache of self-control. Some go on strike. It’s what union organizers call “malicious compliance”: show up but don’t work. Unless a parent acts as concierge and personal assistant from start to finish.

  • Their extreme anxiety is their energy, imagination and passion turned inward, against themselves and their family’s peaceful home.
  • My question to the parents in my office is this: What percentage of your communication with your son consists of nagging, reminding, chastising or yelling? “Uh … 90 percent, 100?” Which I know isn’t true, just as confidently as I know these boys aren’t mentally ill and these families aren’t rife with hidden dysfunction.
  • In general he’s more comfortable chatting side by side than face to face. Holding an object in his hands eases tension, too. Your role is to be attentive and receptive to the commentary.
  • Hinting may be lost on your son.
  • So think of your conversations as shooting hoops. You say a little something, then another little something, and sometimes it goes through and you get a basket.
  • Shower your son with the easy affection, appreciation and tolerance you show your dog.

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.