They are not interested in outcomes and results. They don’t work at something to improve themselves or come to a conclusion. Play is the essential work of a preschooler, and this is how they mature.
the preschooler has only three true needs: play, rest and tears.
drop the idea that rewards and logical consequences will have a real effect on a preschooler.
The problem with these choices is that the logic is trying to appeal to a part of the brain that is simply undeveloped.
So stop expecting him to care, and stop using logic to combat emotion. If you do these two things, you are already going to be on your way to a better morning.
A strong routine is key. Great teachers use very specific steps in a routine, inject fun (in the form of music, clapping or dancing) and lovingly keep everything moving forward.
Great teachers don’t offer choices when transitioning to another activity.
Great teachers make room for the tears that come when children don’t get their way.
Don’t lecture your son about clothes and food and teeth and hair. If he won’t get dressed, scoop him and the clothes up and dress him downstairs or in the car — not to humiliate him, but to move the moment along. If he is pushing the food around, grab two waffles, put them in a paper towel, smile and say: “Eating breakfast in the car is fun. Let’s go!”
Finally, no matter how much you lost your patience in the morning, no matter how angry you became, no matter how big his tantrum was, make your separation peaceful and full of warmth. Hug him, smile and say: “We made it! I love you, and I am not angry.”
Finally, I am not above a small treat here and there.
Dr. Brown says empathy consists of four qualities: the ability to take the perspective of another person, staying away from judgment, recognizing emotion in others, and communicating it. She defines empathy as “feeling with people,” and notes that it’s a “vulnerable choice” because it requires a person to tap into something personal that identifies with the struggle of another.
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